How to Overcome Limiting Beliefs and Embrace Your True Potential

Whether we realize it or not, we are all influenced by the world around us. Some people may be influenced more than others. Some people may know that they’re being influenced constantly and take action to discern what they deem as the truth. Others simply comply and believe what they are told. 

These influences become our belief systems, our code to live by. However, few people stop and ask why they believe. Belief systems are difficult to recognize because they’re often unconscious; they’re just ingrained in our minds. These hidden beliefs can range from faith in religion to self-talk like ‘I’m bad at math,’ and they create a reality that forms the ‘truth’ in your life. I refer to this as your reality. It’s important to question your beliefs regularly because as we learn and grow, our beliefs tend to change, and they should. 

People who grow up being told things like, “you’re never on time,” or “you’re just bad at math,” often tend to hold on to these statements and subconsciously make them come true just by believing them. This is called a self-fulfilling prophecy. A self-fulfilling prophecy is a social psychology concept that refers to the theory that a person’s or group’s expectation of certain behavior ultimately leads to that behavior being exhibited. For example, if you were told you’re bad at math, you adopt an attitude of “well, I’m bad at math so I’m going to fail this test anyway, I might as well not study,” so you fail the test. Why? It wasn’t because you’re actually bad at math. Math can be taught and learned by anyone who gives it enough effort. It’s because you didn’t study. You became a self-fulfilling prophecy. 

For me personally, this became glaringly obvious when I had children. I never allowed them to go to bed with socks on. It didn’t matter if they were clean and just came out of the drawer. You just aren’t supposed to wear socks to bed. Then my daughter asked me why. That made me pause; I didn’t have an answer. I decided to sit with the question for a moment and really think about where this idea of not wearing socks to bed came from. Finally, I realized that as a child, my dad always made us take our socks off at bedtime. I found the root of the belief, and the next step was to investigate. I asked my dad why he never let us wear socks to bed. He laughed and said it was because he didn’t like the feel of socks in bed. His feet would get hot, and it was extremely uncomfortable for him. It turned out that my dad’s personal preference ended up becoming my belief that you should never wear socks to bed. 

After that realization, I never argued with my kids over socks. I did, however, require that any socks worn in bed be clean. The cleanliness of the socks is a belief that really did matter to me because carrying the germs of the day into your nice, comfy bed is, quite frankly, gross, and good personal hygiene is necessary for your health. 

Our realities are made up of hidden and limiting beliefs. The hidden beliefs we hold are things like negative self-talk (I’m bad at managing my money), stories you create in your mind about others (my partner isn’t talking to me, I must have done something wrong), and the roles we take on (I’m a victim). 

Where hidden beliefs hide in your subconscious, limiting beliefs are the things that are repeated so often in our lives that they have become a normal part of your reality. When we don’t question the validity of these beliefs and consider how they affect us, they start to build walls within your mind that hold you back from achieving your dreams and living your true potential. 

Limiting beliefs like “life is hard” lead to an overall feeling of discouragement and hopelessness. You start to feel like you have to suffer and deal with challenges just because you think it’s normal. Struggle becomes your self-fulfilled prophecy. Believing that “good things come to those who wait” can lead to stagnating in your goals because you’re expecting to have to wait for the good thing to happen. 

It’s time to unbecome those toxic beliefs. It’s time to identify them, acknowledge them, and change them. Simply put, it’s time to change your perspective of your reality. Stop using the “because I said so” model and start allowing yourself to question it. Start looking at the world with childlike wonderment. Don’t take things for granted because that’s just how they are; ask yourself “what if it wasn’t that way?” 

Questioning your beliefs and unbecoming what you thought was you is not an easy task. It takes work and commitment. You will need support along this journey, so I challenge you to tackle this one belief that so many people hold first: it’s weak to ask for help. The reality is, asking for help is the bravest thing you can do. It means you’re ready to do the work to find the person you were always meant to be. It's time to overcome your limiting beliefs.